A couple of nights ago, my brother in law, Jeff, and his wife, Christy, came to our house to have dinner. I really enjoy being around Jeff and Christy. They are a very fun loving couple and, despite the fact that they are many years younger, we get along very well. Jeff is my wife’s younger brother, who is 12 years younger than she and I, but Jeff is very wise beyond his years.
After dinner, Jeff, Jamie, and I got into a conversation about the stagnation that has occurred with Hole in the Roof. Since the first of the year, not much has happened. We had to move our Bread of Life Outreach from our location on Northrup Avenue to the county. Greenpark Community Church has been gracious enough to let us use an old concession stand building to run our pantry out of, but ... there is no heat in this building and it is the dead of winter. In fact, yesterday, it was 12 degrees here in STL with a wind chill of zero degrees.
I was expressing to Jeff that I felt like we were dying in this new location. We used to serve 168 families a month and now we were serving 12. Most of our former clients don’t want to make the 25 minute drive out to the county just to receive food. A lot used to walk or take public transportation. We have been looking to purchase a building for ourselves, but circumstances have made that idea a distant memory. I wasn’t sure just what to do.
Jeff began to share with me an experience that he was currently going through and he thought it would speak to me as well. I am sure he wouldn’t mind me sharing what he had to share.
Jeff has been working for the past three years for a local carpet company. He went from warehouse worker to manager of a location in just three short years. He was making great money and life seemed to be going great. His wife, Christy is pregnant with their first child, and they are rehabbing a new house. That is when the company fired Jeff. I won’t go into all the details because they are personal, but it had to do with the company being purchased by an out of town company. Now, Jeff is unemployed and the finances are drying up. That is when he looked at me and said that he felt God had removed him from his job because he had become dependent on the income from the job and was not relying on God. He knew now that he had no choice but to lean on God for everything.
I knew right then what God was speaking to me through Jeff. I had become too reliant on our Bread of Life Outreach. It had become our only point of ministry and that is not what God called me to do. Yes, He wants me to help those who need additional food resources, but I had stopped there. I didn’t go any farther with it. At least, right now. I had become so focused on finding a place to move our pantry that I had taken my eyes off of what else I was suppose to be doing.
The next day, I was sitting at my computer when God spoke to me again. He directed me to the 25th chapter of the Book of Matthew. I turned to those passages and read the following:
"When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:
I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.'
"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'
"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—
I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'
"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'
"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'
"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."
Part of what God has called me to be a pastor to those who are being overlooked or ignored. I have been called to be there for those who do feel welcome in a typical church setting. I am not called to be an empire builder. I am not called to raise up a mega church and take a city for God. I am simply called to help those who are misfits. Why me? Why not someone who is more trained, more eloquent, and more in the spotlight? I know it is because I am a misfit too.
I have never quite fit in with those who are “church planters’. In fact, I was told by the head of church planting for the Vineyard churches that I was “the last person on earth who he would pick to plant a church”. I am not a Type A personality. I am not a planner, I am a dreamer. (That is why God blessed me with my beautiful wife, Jamie. She makes sure things get done. LOL) So, why then would God choose me to do this. I simply think it is because I listen. I am not hung up with numbers. I gave up trying to follow the formulas and strategies. I just care. I find myself drawn to the misfits, the freaks, the geeks, and the outcasts. I don’t want to be known as “America’s Pastor” or fill stadiums. I just want to stand before God and here Him say . . .
I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.
I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—YOU DID IT TO ME.
This past July, my wife, Jamie, and I celebrated our 21st anniversary. It has been a really wild ride, full of bumps, hills, valleys, and especially, love. As I was lying in bed last night, a realization hit. I have been married for exactly half my life. I turned 42 this year and was married when I was 21. As I laid there, I began to think ....
21 years ago ....
I was a young man full of wild ideas and a passion to conquer the world.
I was self absorbed, self aware, and self focused.
It was all about my needs. I didn't have anyone else to worry about.
I had a very good paying job and spent $ 200 a month in comic books.
I was a good baptist boy, who didn't think too much about anyone else's needs.
I had a full head of bright red hair and a full beard.
Now, 21 years later ...
I am now being referred to as "old" by those younger than me.
I live with a mental disability, ADD, diabetes, problems with my hands, knees, and other body parts.
I live very simply financially.
I am the proud parent of seven great kids. (Five here on Earth and two in heaven.
My oldest daughter is engaged to be married in December.
I am now very aware of financial hardships of others, as I run a ministry to the poor, which serves 650 people a month.
I am a Christian. I do not belong to ANY denomination. (I am not even sure they are biblical.)
I read all my comics online or in the library or Borders.
I am bald and my gotee has gray in it.
and God has humbled me.
and I am happy.
Life has been hard, but I would not change a thing. God has been very faithful to me and I know He is in control.
I cannot wait for the next 21 years.
I "discovered" this song by Chris Daughtry last night. It is his song Used To. Now, I am unclear of why he wrote this song, but I found myself thinking of a relationship with Jesus. Take a minute to read these lyrics while thinking about Jesus.
"Used To"
You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around.
You used to lean on me like
The only other choice was falling down.
You used to walk with me like
We had nowhere we needed to go,
Nice and slow, to no place in particular.
We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?
I used to reach for you when
I got lost along the way.
I used to listen.
You always had just the right thing to say.
I used to follow you.
Never really cared where we would go,
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.
We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?
I look around me,
And I want you to be there
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.
Look around you.
It's empty, and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we had.
You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around,
The only one around.
We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be? Yeah.
To how it used to be.
To how it used to be, yeah.
To how it used to be.
To how it used to be.
You know, the longer that I am a minister and the more that I learn about how the modern day church lives, the more my heart is grieved. When did we, as the modern day church, lose sight of what Jesus taught and fell in love with the Almighty Dollar?? When did Christianity stop being about Christ and service and become about money, numbers, and how to raise both??? There is not enough space on this blog to fill it with what is in my heart right now, but I will say this ....
The church needs to wake up, get its "head" out of its wallet, and remember that we are called to be servants. Remember "the first shall be last and the last shall be first"? Remember "whatever you do unto the least of these, my brethren, you have done unto Me"?
I was born in the wrong era.
I recently watched the sixth Rocky movie "Rocky Balboa" and found it very inspiring. I will say that this one is not as good as Rocky III (my personal fav), but it is definately a better ending to the Rocky saga than the last movie, but I am not really wanting to discuss movie choices. This movie really made me think.
This was a great representation of life and the pursuit of dreams. We get to watch as Rocky drifts his way through life without his beloved wife, Adrianne, who has died. He is a shell of man living in the past. Then he seems to find purpose, not just in boxing, but in helping others. He allows a man, who he beat in the ring, to eat free in his restaraunt because he is homeless. He befriends a young lady and her son and gives them both jobs. He even keeps reaching out to his son who is embarrassed to be seen with him. That is when the offer of an exhibition match with the current world champion comes. Rocky sees it as his chance to finally settle his own personal "demons".The best scene in the movie for me is when his son tries to talk him out of fighting. That is when Rocky gives a truly inspiring speech about life.
"It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
If you spent any time reading my blogs, you know that I struggle with my disability. This quote was extremely inspiring to me. It spoke directly to me both times I watched this movie and I found it to be a great life motto. It and this movie truly represents how I try to live my life. Taking Lifes Punches and keep moving forward.
As most of you know, I pastor a small inner city mission here in STL. We help those living on the margin and under the poverty line. In fact, we live beneath the poverty line ourselves. I am not getting rich doing this and never plan on it. I truly believe that Jesus called some to live this kind of life. Not that being rich is bad, it is what you do with your funds that shows your heart. What really bugs the heck out of me is rich mega ministries that do nothing but beg for more money.
Last week, I received what looked like a personal invitation in the mail from a major mega ministry. It was hand written and came in an invitation envelope. Perplexed, I opened it, not to find an invitation, but a request for money. The letter went on to say that "they" really needed my financial help and that I would be "blessed and rewarded" if I gave to them. Now don't get me wrong, I ask for funds each month in the newsletter I send out and I know that the bigger your ministry, the more money you need. What bugged me about this is that I have sent my new ministry proposal to this same major mega ministry 3 times and each time, I have been turned down flat. Now, they want money from me. Call me bitter, but ... they have more money than they know what to do with.
We, as Christians, have forgotten what Jesus truly taught and what He deemed important in our ministries. It is not to be the biggest and the best, but to decrease while HE increases. To minister to the least of these, not become the Wal-mart of ministries. There has to be a better way.
As pastor of an inner city mission, I see a lot of hurt and pain, but nothing brings me more pain than seeing Christians who are so caught up in materialism that they ignore their duties to "the least of these".
I found a great movement that is just starting. I would encourage everyone to check it out.
http://www.myspace.com/stopconsumerchristianity
Join the Revolution.
on Not called to be Wal-Mart